It was my first day in the new office. The day, when I saw her for the first time. I don’t remember anything else from that particular day but I still remember that moment, that corner seat, her half-turned neck at my entry, that frisk moment of her straight hair, an innocent mole resting on her long slender neck, those big blank eyes and that stranger greeting smile. Everything is embroidered clearly on the silk surface of my memory. She was as quiet as a lake without wind, as calm as night without moon and as silent as a jungle without crickets.
After performing the social duty of welcoming a new work colleague, she turned back her head and hid behind the tic-tic sound of pressing buttons on the laptop. I grabbed a chair, positioned myself on the desk next to her and like any other two-legged machine I too got lost in the corporate world, unaware of the fact that nature had just struck me with the lightning.
I didn’t know at that moment that the stranger smile I just noticed will become the source of my own smile, that those big eyes with black pupils lined by a brown ring contracting and expanding while looking at me will be too deep for me to swim and cross. I didn’t know that her long hairs hanged like pressed linen on a hanger will become shed of my life. I didn’t know that she will become as essential for me as the light for the moon, cricket for forest and wind for the lake.
It’s hard to say if it was she or it was me who first felt that sweet nectar of love. If I go back to time and recall every moment we spent together, even then it’s hard to find out was it she who made me fall for her or was it my heart who betrayed me and took the extra burden of beating for her. It seems that the universe was conspiring to bring us together like two fallen stars moving towards each other.
It was not love at first sight, it grew with our gentle fights and tender talks, with official meetings and casual outings, with Monday blues and Sunday hues. With the days we spent together and nights when we missed each other, each sunset was leading to another rise not just for the Sun but for our hearts’ tides. The time, we spent together swelled every day and we ended up lying in each other’s arms entire night and on weekends even during the day. Nights we spent together were short but our body coiled with each other not to ever set apart. Our brains entangled like an unsolved puzzle and our souls attached like two two hands’ clasped fingers. Our eyes started looking at each other as if they were the source of only light in the universe. Two souls were merging together to create a world and we were merely playing our roles like two trained artists on stage who have no clue about the script of the play.
Like two ducks in a static lake, we started floating in the dimension of time but static in space. With the ‘to and fro’ movement of waves, we kept travelling but reached nowhere like a boat without a Oar. But the universe doesn’t spare anyone who goes against its laws and attains a stage which has no scope of change. Like everything else in this universe, things had to change, the world had to move, ducks had to fly and we had to set apart.
I didn’t realize when the ripples of time started working opposite to their nature and started moving towards the centre instead of moving away. And by the time I realised it, she was not there with me. What left now is only a shadow, which we call memory. A shadow which keeps floating in the blank sky like clouds. Some are white, some grey and some as dark enough to burst into a thunderstorm.
Our separation is still a question for me. Why ? and When? There’s a blank space in my memory. A blank space which can’t be filled and nothing can be extracted out of it. Whenever I want to find out what happened, all I see is a dark room. Nothing is visible inside that room, not even the light which I throw on it from outside. This blank space engulfs everything and returns nothing.
All I know is two ducks can’t keep sailing in a lake forever and all I remember is that first day.